We are well into the new year so it’s time to take a crack at your resolutions if you haven’t already. I identified my resolutions for 2022 in a previous blog post. One of my resolutions was to expand my social network and make new friends. Many people call this “finding your tribe”!
What Does It Mean to “Find Your Tribe”
Finding your tribe to me means wanting to surround myself with people who have the same values – that doesn’t mean I want my network of friends to always agree with me. In fact, I think it’s beneficial to surround yourself with people who can provide a fresh outlook. But I would like to have people around me who share my values of treating people with respect, encouraging friends to fulfill their dreams, having generally equal give-and-take interactions and taking the time to maintain our friendship by connecting with me (and me with them) in person, or via text or social media.
Finding your tribe also means finding people who share some of your interests. If you want to maintain the cohesive bonds of friendship, you should have at least some similar interests.
Why Do You Need to Find Your Tribe?
We all need a sense of connection with others; that’s what life is all about? Time and time again, research has shown that people who have friendships live longer. Friends should be a source of support, fun, inspiration. If you don’t have friends who are providing these qualities, maybe it’s time to find your tribe? Perhaps you had a circle of friends you were close to, but they have fallen by the wayside since life has been known to get in the way. Sometimes friendships relax their bonds because one person moves away and it’s not as convenient to see each other. Perhaps one of your friends has pressing priorities e.g. looking after an ageing parent or having a baby dramatically changes one’s priorities and doesn’t leave much time for friendships. Perhaps your friend has recently got a demanding job that doesn’t leave them much leisure time? Whatever the case, it is rare not to lose a few friendships due to life circumstances.
How Do You Find Your Tribe?
Finding your tribe may not be easy; otherwise, we would have done it already, right? The first thing to do is identify what you are looking for in potential friendships. Many of us are looking for more shared experiences. It’s also helpful if we don’t have to travel so far to get together with our friends. Proximity breeds attraction, right? So you might want to identify some of your strongest interests and how you could share them with others. For example:
- If you love reading, you might want to join a local book club. Many Toronto Public Libraries operate their own free book clubs on a monthly basis. Joining a local book club means you will not only meet other bibliophiles, but these booklovers will live in your neighbourhood, which will increase your chances of developing friendships.
- Love golf? Join a women’s (or men’s) golf league. Having participated in a women’s golf league, I can vouch for the fact that they are great ways to network while having fun, getting some exercise and improving your game.
- Love to try new restaurants? Join a Meetup group that meets at different restaurants for brunch or dinner.
- Want to support social causes such as protecting the environment or helping low-income peop9le? There are many volunteer groups that will ensure you meet people who are interested in the same goals that you are.
- Love yoga? Sign up for yoga classes and meet other people who share your passion. Don’t just practice yoga at home like I do lol.
- Love to get outside? Join a walking group. There are several walking groups on Meetup who get together every week, walk several kilometres while exploring different neighbourhoods.
- Want to improve your culinary skills? Take a cooking class to learn to cook your favourite cuisine. You’ll be sure to meet new people and who knows, you may continue your friendships outside of the class.
- Have you been suppressing your artistic talents? Join art classes at your local Michael’s arts & crafts store. (This is something that is on my to-do list!)
Joining Facebook groups that are based on your common interests is also a good way to meet other like-minded people. Of course, the ultimate goal is to meet those people in person!
Make Time for Friendships
How much time do you have to devote to friendships? If you find yourself responding, “Not much” to that question, you might have to rejuggle your priorities. Take stock of how much time you spend watching TV. If you spend many of your nights watching Netflix (*puts hand up), replace one of those TV nights with a Meetup group or yoga class or whatever tickles your fancy! You might just meet some members of your tribe!
Please let me know in the comment section how you found your tribe.
This is a great reminder that no matter what age you are, friendships can fade. I have heard many women say it is hard to make friends as an adult. You offer some great ideas as to how you can do this. I found myself nodding along as you said to think about how much time you devote to friendships. The winter months are the worst. In the nice weather it seems easier to make the time.
I agree that it can seem harder to make friends when you are older. And yes, it’s harder to get out during the winter so it provides less of a chance to meet new people. Cheers, Lori
All of these are great ideas for looking for new friends! Thanks for sharing this.
You’re welcome! Cheers, Lori
oh yes! I like that you call it a tribe because that is exactly what It is. I do have my own tribe of supporting and fantastic people around me, I can not be happier with them!
Hi Lyosha, That is great that you have found your tribe! I’m glad to hear they make you so happy! Cheers, Lori
I completely relate to this post. I’m making friendships more of a priority this year. I hope to find my own tribe!
Hi Lisa, I am also setting aside time for more friendships this year. I hope you find your tribe! Cheers, Lori
Thanks for sharing this. I have a lot of friends at a young age. But now, I only have plenty of friends maybe because we all have our own families and we were busy working. I hope to hang up with them sometime. By the way, these tips from you are amazing!
Hi Risa, Thank you. I think it’s common that as people get older and establish families of their own and careers, their number of friends dwindle. We have only so much time in a day! Cheers, Lori
Very sweet post – especially since I’ve just read that friendship is the biggest victim of the pandemic. Therefore, we should cherish our tribe – and every single member.
That is sad that friendships have suffered during the pandemic. Certainly, we haven’t been able to see our friends as often. Hopefully, we can renew our friendships soon and also make new ones! Cheers, Lori
This is interesting, I’m sure a lot of people want a change this year and improve so much. These will help a lot. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Fransic, I agree that the pandemic has influenced many people to create changes in their lives! Cheers, Lori
I have never really had one consistent tribe, I have tribes that come and go as the seasons of my life change.
Hi Laura, I’m like you. My tribes changed over the years as I have changed, but my tribe is more consistent now. Cheers, Lori
Hi Lori, I hope you are well.
I belong to a few tribes who found themselves joining my other tribes. For example, I practice anti-gravity yoga and have made friends with the girls in my yoga classes – who are also interested in pole dancing. I invited them to the pole classes that I was attending. And now we’re all one big happy family, which is incredible! Before the lockdowns, we hang out a lot. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Polly, That is great that you were able to expand your tribe by inviting others who wee interested in pole dancing! Enjoy! Cheers, Lori
I am so glad I have a network of supportive friends! So great when you find people you can connect with.
Hi Natalie, You are lucky to have a like-minded, supportive network! They make such a positive difference in your life! Cheers, Lori
Thanks for this inspiring ideas of finding your tribe, I’m now inspired to expand mine now 🙂
Hi Sienny, You’re welcome. I hope you expand your tribe! Cheers, Lori
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